I rarely know what day of the week it is anymore, thanks to having a job with an irregular schedule and without a true “weekend.” Perhaps that’s why the last few months have flown by. I have just about two months left at home before the CGA semester begins. My to-do list is already starting to form in my mind… Decide what I’m bringing with me, pack up my car, quit my job, cancel my gym membership, and so on and so forth.
The other thing that’s been kicking around in my brain lately is how long I’ve been on this journey with Adventures in Missions. I first found out about about the World Race almost four years ago – before I graduated college – and ever since then I’ve been continually pursuing the next thing. It took me a year and a half from applying to actually launch, then I came home with CGA in my mind. I’ve always been going towards “that next thing,” whatever it happens to be.
Now if there’s one thing I know, it’s that I’m not running away from “real life” by going to CGA. I made sure of that, and I wouldn’t be going if I determined that this was the case. (And I know exactly what it looks like to go on an adventure to run away from real life. Ask me about my month in Antigua sometime…)
On one hand I’m pumped for CGA. I seriously can’t wait to rejoin AIM community, learn from some incredibly knowledgeable people, and hone my skills as a leader. I’m fully confident this is the next step God is calling me to, and I know he will provide in this next season of life.
Yet on the other I’m impatient for other reasons. Sometimes I feel like I’ve been in “training” for my entire life. Since I was eleven I was always in leadership development programs at school, then college, then the Race which is supposed to be a launchpad to a “fully missional life,” now CGA.
In the words of Bill Swan, I just want to do the thing. When am I done preparing?
But this is no holy restlessness. This is no spiritual push to free me from complacency. This is me being human and trying to jump the gun on where God wants me and what he wants me to do there. I feel peace in where I am and yet my flesh wants to get up and go.
By coincidence of my bible reading plan, I’m going through Numbers and Jeremiah concurrently. No matter how irked I get about waiting now, it sure beats 40 years in the desert, and certainly 60 in Babylon.
The fact is that I don’t have a clue what’s coming after CGA. Maybe squad leading. Maybe a job at Adventures. Maybe working at the long-term base in Swaziland, Guatemala, or Cambodia. Or maybe something entirely unrelated. I don’t have a clue – but I do have ideas, I do have dreams, and I certainly have a God who guides my steps.
At the end of this I’m not really sure I have a point, just my rambling thoughts. But that’s where I’m at, and that’s okay.
CGA countdown: 60 days until the semester starts!
